The news of your divorce is something that certain individuals should hear straight from you. Close family members and your children, for example, shouldn’t learn about the split from someone else. Be careful about what you tell people and when.
Even though you may not feel like it, talking to your ex about how you will let people know about the divorce can be beneficial. This is especially important when you are talking to family members and trying to navigate the relationships with both sides of the family after the divorce.
Make factual statements
The statements you make should be based on facts, especially when you are speaking to people who will have contact with your ex or your children. Unless you are speaking to a close confidante, you shouldn’t reveal intimate details about what led to the divorce. Even when you split up, keeping personal information to yourself is critical.
Put the children first
Always let your children know before you tell anyone who might say something to them. Your divorce will be traumatizing enough even under the best of circumstances. However, it will be much worse if they hear it from someone else. Ideally, both parents will tell the kids together so that they have a chance to ask questions. The adults can also ensure everyone is on the same page and has the same information.
Set the child custody agreement
The parenting plan you set has a significant impact on the children. Make sure you consider their best interests. If possible, work as a team on all matters related to them. Presenting a united front can help with the adjustment, and it may prevent them from trying to play one parent against the other.
Make decisions for yourself
Sometimes, people feel the need to tell you what happened in their divorce. Don’t let this dictate how you handle yours. Instead, look at the circumstances you face and determine what to do, accordingly. Knowing that you aren’t alone is a good thing, so you can commiserate with others who went through similar situations, but don’t compare your situation to theirs.
In all divorce decisions, you must do what is best for yourself. Think carefully about the options and how each will impact your future. As the situation moves forward, remember to relay only information to others that they need to know.