Parents considering divorce know that they are going to have to work out a child custody agreement. The tone for this process is often set early in the split. While the adults know that the children enjoy having both parents at home, there are often reasons why the marriage just won't work.
If you aren't happy in your marriage, it is time to take a look at the underlying cause. There are several things that might signal that the union is truly over and it is time to work on the terms of going your separate ways. Throughout the final period of the marriage and the initial time of the divorce, remember some of these points to try to make things a bit less stressful.
Keep the marital problems separate
The problems that cause the marriage to end shouldn't come into the child custody matter. You and your ex must still remain respectful of each other. This can be difficult when you don't have any love left for that person. The fact that you don't even have the energy to fight to save the marriage is a clue that you have to leave everything completely separated because you must have the energy to ensure your children's best interests are at the heart of the child custody case.
Be honest with your ex
When you decide that the marriage is over, you have to let the other party know. Don't seem like you are uncertain because this might cause them to think there is a chance to save the marriage. Instead, be certain that you want it to end and have an honest discussion about what's going on.
Try not to let your emotions overtake you. Remain focused on the outcome so that you can work toward it. Don't use this as a time to point out all your ex's faults. Instead, try to expend your energy working out the terms of the divorce.
Tell the children
You are going to have to break the news to the children about what's going on. This is a big life change for them, and they are likely going to have concerns. Try to have your ex come into this conversation so that the children know that both parents are still working as a team.
When it comes to the divorce matters, child custody is often the top priority. The kids need to have stability, so the sooner you can get the parenting plan done, the better they will likely fare.