A child whose parents are going through a divorce also has to make a transition. They need to adjust to living in two homes and having to split their time between parents. This can be a rather traumatic experience, and kids can internalize blame for their patents' break-up, but you can help them to meet this emotional time with healthy self-esteem intact.
One thing that you must remember is that your focus has to be on the kids. You and your ex will need to work as a team to make sure that they have what they need. This isn't always going to be easy, but remembering your child's rights throughout the process is beneficial.
Right #1: Your child should have meaningful relationships
Children need to have a relationship with both parents. The only time when this isn't a good idea is if there was an instance of child abuse. Unless that's the case, you should encourage your child to have a relationship with their other parent. Even when it is difficult, you should still help the child to understand that your ex does love them. Part of this is showing your child that you want them to have fun when they spend time with their other parent.
Right #2: Your child should be free to enjoy their childhood
Children shouldn't have to worry about adult matters. They need to be able to focus on going to school and enjoying things like other children and carefree pastimes. One way that you can do this is by encouraging them to remain engaged with their chosen activities. Some children think that they will have to give up all these because of the divorce, but you should do what you can to make it possible for them to continue.
Right #3: You child should only receive appropriate information
Parents must ensure that the children aren't getting information they don't need to know. Avoid using them as a messenger so that they won't learn of anything as they relay messages. Additionally, having to pass messages back and forth puts a lot of pressure on them. Instead of making the kids act as a go-between, you and your ex should communicate directly. This can also help to take away some of the risk of misunderstanding messages.
Having everything about the custody arrangement spelled out in the parenting plan is beneficial. This provides you with the foundation you need to help your children feel stable as they adjust to the new way of life.